


Downfall

by tabionly



Series: JUST GTOP THINGS [1]
Category: Big Bang (Band), GTOP (Band)
Genre: Adults, Alternate Universe, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, I Made Myself Cry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 14:12:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16812244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabionly/pseuds/tabionly
Summary: "You want me out of your life?""Yes, And maybe then I'll be the happiest man alive if you're gone."ANGST. ANGST. ANGST.





	Downfall

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I wrote this one three years ago so I please bare with any mistakes. Feel free to leave your thoughts below, Thank you! :)

Seunghyun slummed the door shuts angrily as he steps inside their house throwing his coat on the couch looking around but he didn't see _anyone_ in the living room, He sighs in relief and satisfaction, finally maybe this certain person won't nag and annoy him today.

He flops down on the couch closing his eyes slowly, letting his body and mind to rest and calm for a bit. He's tired and exhausted from work and all he wanted to do is to sleep the rest of the night on his comfortable bed but he knew he won't get what he wants because there are a lot of paper works he needed to do as well as the pressure at work was all on him because soon he'll going to take over their company and he needs to work his ass off and be productive enough to get that position as a CEO, he'd always dreamed of.

Minutes have passed, he opened his eyes as he took a deep breathe. He decided that he should go and shower first before doing anything but when he was about to get up from the couch he heard his _voice_ , the voice that Seunghyun used to admired and adored. The voice he used to loved hearing everyday and never got tired of it, It was like a voice of an angel that was sent from above, he used to loved it.

"Seunghyun? Are you okay? How was work?" He softly asked walking toward Seunghyun, and you could notice the nervousness filling his voice.

The taller man snapped out of his thoughts and turned his head to where the voice came from, Seeing the brown eyed man standing in front of him causing Seunghyun to rolled his eyes. "Do I look like I'm okay to you?" He spats making the other man jumped out and flinched.

"I just want to ask if you eat dinner already? I made your favorite." Jiyong exclaimed smiling at his husband, he knows it's Seunghyun's favorite so he made them, Maybe to ease his hatred towards him? _Probably no_ , Jiyong thinks. It feels like Seunghyun will hate him forever and it made his heart aches.

Jiyong hates himself that he can't do anything, he can't do anything to make the his old Seunghyun back.

"Jiyong, Everytime I went home you're always asking the same thing. Can you stop? I don't have time for your bullshits!" Seunghyun yells angrily as he finally stood up from the couch and made his way towards the kitchen to go get something to drink or to break.

He heard Jiyong's footsteps following him behind so he stops on his tracks and turned around to face him, "I want to ask some favor, Please, Please, Leave me alone." Seunghyun utters as he continued walking towards the kitchen, Opening the fridge and got himself some bottle of wine, once he saw the red whine he pours it on the glass he was holding, when he finished he closes it and looks at Jiyong once again, "You really need to stop cooking for me, You're just wasting your time." He added sternly and stared at Jiyong for an instance and then looked away.

Hatred tracing Seunghyun's feautures.

Jiyong stared at Seunghyun looking at the latter like he didn't know who was at his sight, He didn't know him anymore, He changed. Tears are now visible in his eyes, His husband's words hurts him so much and he feels like his heart is breaking, not into one but in many ways possible.

"Seunghyun, I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you. I'm really sorry, I just want to do something for you."

  
Jiyong said as he takes his bottom lip between his teeth to keep it from quivering, "I just want to be the good partner for you."

Seunghyun rolled his eyes not daring to look back at the smaller man. He chuckles darkly like it was the funniest thing Jiyong had just said, "Are you kidding me, Jiyong? You stopped being my husband when you killed our son." Seunghyun said as he walks away from Jiyong's sight and heads out of the kitchen.

And this time, Jiyong felt his own world falling into million pieces and he can't help the tears to fall down from his eyes, staring at Seunghyun's back in utter shocked. Did Seunghyun really just said that? He didn't mean it right? Jiyong keeps convincing himself that his husband didn't meant the words he had said but this is the second time Seunghyun said that he killed their own son.

"Seunghyun, I didn't kill our son! I didn't kill him! It was an accident, An accident! If you're still hurting, I am too. I'm hurting too..." Jiyong mutters shaking his head, "W-why? Why are you doing this to me?" He continues between sobs.

Now Jiyong knows, He knows where Seunghyun is coming from, He acts so distant these past few months and acting like Jiyong did not exist. He hates Jiyong because he thinks he killed their son, but he didn't. He didn't do such cruel things.

Seunghyun turns around and looked back at Jiyong, angered, hatred written all over his face as he slams the glass hanging on his fingers on the floor. "Yes you fucking did, Jiyong! You fucking _did_! You killed him! it was all because of you! If you could've just listen to me that day then our son will probably be still alive! You killed him so stop acting like it wasn't your fault!" Seunghyun yelled as he stared at Jiyong with full of hatred. "I hate you!" Seunghyun shouts as the anger builds within him.

Jiyong felt his heart beats faster and faster as Seunghyun's venom voice filling the whole house, He felt like his knees are going weak. He didn't dare to wipe all the tears that streaming down his face he just let his tears fell down until he couldn't cry anymore.

"I''m sorry if you think that way. What should I do to make you come back to me?" All Jiyong had to say as he stared at the floor, His tears are probably falling on the floor. He puts his right hand on his chest because his heart is fucking hurting because of Seunghyun.

"You don't have to do anything." Seunghyun mutters staring directly at the smaller man, "I'm tired, Jiyong. I'm so tired, I want a divorce."

Jiyong heads snaps, "Seunghyun..."

"You heard me, I want us to seperate."

Jiyong shakes his head, "W-why?"

"I'm tired."

"Of who?"

Seunghyun didn't hesitates to answer, "Of you, Jiyong. I'm tired of being with you."

That fucking _hurts_ Jiyong, big time.

"I can't believe you would say something like that, If there's someone who should be tired of all this, That's me, Seunghyun. You're treating me like I'm nothing to you but I didn't say anything. You wanna know why?" Jiyong asks him but the latter didn't answer so he continues, "Because I love you so much. We've been through a lot before, Seunghyun. I never thought you'll give up this soon."

When Jiyong finished, they both fell on silence until Seunghyun speaks, "I don't love you anymore."

"W-what?"

"You heard me. I don't love you anymore." Seunghyun says walking over Jiyong as he points his finger forcefully against his chest.

"You didn't mean it right? Y-you didn't meant it, Seunghyun. You're just saying that because you're angry." Jiyong utters brokenly begging for Seunghyun to tell him that it wasn't true, that he still loves Jiyong like he used to before.

"I meant it, Jiyong. I feel like this whole marriage was the biggest mistake i've ever done in my damn life. This is not worth it, anymore. I regret getting down on my knees and marry you."

That made Jiyong clutches his chest tight, so fucking tight like he doesn't know if he's still breathing. He is the biggest mistake Seunghyun had ever done. He didn't know what to do, He was numb as if he lost his touch on himself. Jiyong doesn't know what to feel anymore.

"I.. I know you love me, Seunghyun. You didn't mean it like that, right?"

"Leave me the hell alone, Jiyong! I don't want to see your face and I want you out of my life!"

"You want me to get out of your life?" Jiyong asks as he traces his husband's feautures searching for any lies but he didn't see any. Seunghyun was serious.

"Yes and and maybe then i'll be the happiest man alive if you're completly gone."

And just like that Seunghyun gave Jiyong a one more look before he storms out of the kitchen and went to their bedroom as he loudly slummed the door shut.

* * *

  
**_[ eight months ago]_**

_Seunghyun rushed into the hospital as his mom called him that Jiyong was in a car crashed. His heart was pounding heavily in his chest. The love of his life and their two year old son were in danger, he clutches the steering wheel tightly and sped the car. He can't help himself but to cry in agony, He won't forgive himself if something happens to them._

_When Seunghyun made his way into the hospital, He quickly went inside._

_"J-Jiyong. Kwon Jiyong, where is he?" He asked the nurse quickly._

_"And he's your?" the nurse asked and that made Seunghyun rolled his eyes in annoyance. "He's my husband! and now tell me where the fuck is my family?" He shouts and the nurse flinch away because of the tone on Seunghyun's voice._

_"You need to calm down sir."_

_"Please just tell me."_

_"Room 167, sir."_

_He ran inside finding where the hell is room 167, He was about to enter the elevator when he saw Jiyong's mom and his mom talking to he assumed, one of Jiyong's doctor. He quickly made his way to them and speaks straightaway._

_"How is he? How's my husband and my son?" He asked and looks at the doctor with hopeful eyes._

_The doctor looked at him, but tears his gaze away from Seunghyun and looks at the two women in front of him, like he was waiting for a signal to tell Seunghyun worst the news_

_._

_"I said how is he? Is something room with them? Can i see them?" He asked again and this time the doctor answered. "You can see him. But i need to tell you something first, Mr. Choi." The doctor said calmly._

_"What is it? please tell me they're okay!" Seunghyun said almost screaming._

_"You need to calm down, Seunghyun." His mother said as she places her hands on his son's shoulder._

_"How can i calm down when i don't know what's happening with them?!" He says still looking at the doctor, "All you had to do is to tell me that they are okay. That Jiyong and my son are okay."_

_The doctor cleared his throat, "Mr. Choi, I'm sorry."_

_"W-what?"_

_"Mr. Kwon had his minor injuries only but your son didn't make it, He was sleeping when the accident happened---" The doctor didn't finished what he was going to say when Seunghyun shouts._

_"Y-you're kidding right? you all are playing tricks on me!" Seunghyun says, he didn't want to believe it, his son is not dead, he can't be dead._

_"I just leave you all to talk. Just call me when you need something. Excuse me." Then the doctor walked away after excusing himself._

_Seunghyun turned around looked at his and Jiyong's mom who were also crying and didn't noticed that Dami was there, too._

_"Noona, He's joking right?"_

_Dami looked at Seunghyun, She didn't answer him instead she wrapped her arms around Seunghyun and rubbed his back. "I'm sorry, Seunghyun."_

_Seunghyun walks into Jiyong's hospital room, He didn't know if he wanted to see him, but he decided that it's the time._

_When he steps inside he saw Jiyong laying down weakly on the hospital bed, his hands wrapped around his stomach as he stared outside the window. When he heard the door slummed shut, He teared his gaze outside and look who it was, He he saw Seunghyun standing with no emotion in his face._

_He smiles weakly at his husband. "Seunghyun.." He mumbles, but Seunghyun just stared at him so he tries again, "I-I'm so s-sorry."_

_"I don't know what you were thinking, Ji. I told you not to bother going to the office because I know how tired you were last night taking care of our son, But you didn't listen to me, You're too stubborn! Damn it!" Seunghyun shouted and Jiyong didn't expected it, He thought that Seunghyun was going to say that everything will be alright that he loves him no matter what, but he didn't._

_"i'm sorry Seunghyun! I'm so sorry!" Jiying cries as he stared at his angry, upset, dissapointed husband._

_"Your sorry doesn't cut it! It was all your fault! You killed our son!"_

_And after all of that, Seunghyun stormed out of the hospital room._

_That's when Jiyong and Seunghyun started to broke apart._

* * *

_**[Present]** _

Seunghyun leaned back at his office chair crossing his legs as he takes a sip of his coffee when he heard his office door cracks open, He looks up and saw his bestfriend, Daesung enters grinning widely looking so happy.

"Hyung!" He said with an enthusiasm in his voice. "What's up?" He mumbles as he sat down on the chair that was in front of Seunghyun's table.

"What are you doing here dae?" He asks.

"Wow, hello to you too, Choi. Just came here to tell you that I am fucking engaged!" Daesung yells.

Seunghyun looks at him and grins. Finally Daesung is about to settle down with someone. He thought that Daesung won't probably finds the one because well his best friend was just a plain womanizer and never into a serious relationship until he met, Seungri. "Congrats mate! I'm shappy for you!" Seunghyun said, smiling genuinely at the younger lad.

Seunghyun stood up from his chair and went towards Daesung to give him a hug, he opens his arms as Daesung hugs him and he pats his shoulders pulling away from the embrace, "Of course, You'll be my best man."

That made Seunghyun smiled widely ear to ear like he felt his cheek is hurting, "I thought you're going to pick someone that wasn't me." He jokes and Daesung laughs at that. "of course not."

Seunghyun chuckles and went back to his seat as he sighs and looks at Daesung again, "So who's Seungri's best man? Had he decided yet?" He said wanting to start a conversation with his best mate.

Daesung smiles, "Yeah, It's Jiyong Hyung, of course. Who would it be anyways?" He utters like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh."

"How are you and Jiyong, Hyung?" Daesung asked him seriously, His best mate knew what he's doing to Jiyong. Daesung knes how he treated Jiyong after the incident, He knew because sometimes Jiyong would come and ran into Seungri's arms crying because of Seunghyun.

"Well, You know, the usual." He said nonchalanty diverting his attention back to his paper work his uncle had sent him.

"Hyung, You're aware that he's hurting too, right? I can't really help but feel sad, you know? Almost everyday Seungri needs to call him just to check on him and know if he's okay. He's always crying because he thinks that you don't love him anymore. Hyung, I think you need to move on, Stop blaming Jiyong for what happened. He was supposed to be your rock, You used to loved him more than anything." Daesung starts, "Stop treating him like shit, He used to be your world. He is hurting more than you thought he could be. Jiyong didn't kill your son, It was all an accident. And I'm sure your son won't be happy with what you're doing." Daesung finishes, he just wanted to put some sense in his hyung's mind. He wants to see Seunghyun and Jiyong to be happy again like they used to, He wants to see Seunghyun protecting Jiyong at all costs like they used to when they were in college. He wants them to go back to what they used to be.

The sound of Daesung's phone made Seunghyun snapped out of his thoughts and back to reality.

"I need to go, Hyung. Think about what I said, yeah?" Daesung says then patted Seunghyun's back and stomps out of his best mate's office.

When he left, Seunghyun goes back to think, again.

Maybe Daesung was _right_? He was right that Jiyong didn't intended what happened, Maybe he was right that Jiyong was the one who was hurting too much. The pain he felt was nothing to the pain Jiyong was feeling right now and Seunghyun was such an idiot.  
He regrets the times he had yelled and scream to him, he regrets all of that.

Seunghyun is such a fucked up.

  
When he threw harsh words, he was out of the fucking line, It wasn't Jiyong's fault that their son died, Daesung was right, It was all an accident.

Seunghyun groaned and leaned back at his seat again. "I'm such a fucked up." Yesterday night, he was too harsh and out of the line. He didn't mean that Jiyong was the biggest mistake he had ever made, Hell. He loves Jiyong more than anything in this world, He is the loves of his life, though. He was just angry at Jiyong, to himself and to everything. Seunghyun just can't accept the fact that he wasn't there to save his son, he also blames himself but he was blinded by his own feelings and emotions. And most importantly, He didn't want Jiyong out of his life, He wants him to stay in his life, He just wants him and maybe start everything over again.

"What did you fucking do Choi Seunghyun?" He mumbles to himself as he brings his hands up to rub it down at his face.

He needs to move on. He needs to move on from his son not totally but he needs to accept that it wasn't Jiyong's fault.

Seunghyun needs to fix his relationship with Jiyong. He needs to fix their marriage before its too late.

He stood up from his seat and grabs his phone as he took a deep breathe and put his coat on, "I need to fix the mess I made.I need to fix all of this." He said to himself adamantly as he stomped out of his office.

* * *

Seunghyun rushes quickly at their house as he made his way into their door step. He steps in and put his coat on the couch looking around when he didn't see Jiyong. He's in the kitchen, probably waiting for Seunghyun.

Jiyong is usually in the living room always waiting for Seunghyun to come home from work, but it's really strange that he wasn't in there. So Seunghyun went on the kitchen, Maybe Jiyong was cooking something for him? Like he usually does.

When he made his way on the kitchen, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion when he looks around and didn't see his husband, where the hell is Jiyong? he wasn't in the living room, he wasn't in the kitchen. where the hell did he go? Seunghyun's heart beats faster as he looks around the kitchen again but didn't see him nonetheless.

"Ji?" He said loudly as he storms out of the kitchen and quickly made his way up to the stairs. "Jiyong? honey? Where are you? I'm home!" He shouts again waiting for Jiyong to gets out wherever he is.

When he reached their bedroom, He saw the bed room door cracked open, He grinned widely. Jiyong is here for sure, He thought to himself.

He put his left hand and pushes the door open "Jiyong, we need to talk a---" He stops on his tracks when once he had turned the light one realizing that no one was in the bed.

He looked around slowly.

But Jiyong wasn't here.

He steps inside the room, making his way on the connected bathroom on their bedroom "Jiyong!" he twisted the knob once it had clicked open he steps in he yells as he looks around the bathroom, but Jiyong wasn't there.

He keeps searching but didn't see anyone inside the bathroom.

Seunghyun made his way back to the bedroom shouting Jiyong's name but Jiyong didn't answer.

"Jiyong!?" His voice boomed through the empty room as he keeps looking, he went to the window and pulled the curtains searching for Jiyong but he wasn't there.

"Ji, baby! I'm here! "

No answer.

"Jiyong!? baby please..."

Again, there was no response.

Seunghyun keeps looking but Jiyong wasn't in the living room, in their bedroom, everywhere. He was nowhere to be found. The love of his life was nowhere to be found and that made his heart pound into his chest heavily.

Seunghyun put his palm in his face covering it as he screams Jiyong's name. He feels like his world is falling apart.

That's how Jiyong how whenever you yelled at him, Whenever you ignored him, distaning yourself away from him, whenever you threw harsh words at him. That's how Jiyong feels when you told him that he's not worth it and you don't love him anymore.

His brain says.

He made his way back at their room and sat down at the edge of the bed as he grabs the Jiyong's favorite pillow, he sniffles the smell, It smells like Jiyong.

Minutes have passed, He fishes out his phone out ofhis pocket and dialed the only person he knew Jiyong will run to, The person immidiately answered without hesitation.

"Hyung, Why'd you call?" The person on the other line said.

"Seungri. Where's Jiyong? Did you know where he is? Please tell me if you know where he went." Seunghyun almost begged as a single tear falls from his eyes to his cheek.

Seungri was silent for a while and then he speaks, "When did you start caring for him, Hyung? What did you to him this time?" He says.

"Seungri, I--" Seunghyun was cut off by the younger lad.

"I don't know where he is, I don't have any idea. He didn't tell me anything."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Why would I lie?"

"I don't know! I can't find him, damn it!" Seunghyun yells as he threw the phone on the wall causing a loud bang invades the room as his phone cracks into two.

He pulls his hair and screams. He doesn't want to lose Jiyong.

He looks around the room searching for relief but he can't find anything more like anyone. Finally his gaze landed on something that catches his red puffy eyes. there was a white paper laying in the bed side table and by the looks of it, it was a hand written paper by Jiyong.

Seunghyun stood up from where he was sitting and he grabs the aper that is laying on the table and starts reading the whole note.

_Seunghyun._

_Happy 3rd anniversary, Seynghyun! Sorry, I didn't get you anything. I'm sorry for everything that I've done, You already made it clear that you don't love me anymore, I get it, now. Seunghyun, I tried. I tried my hardest to get the old Seunghyun back but I guess he's not into it anymore, he already made his decision, though. Thank you for all the memories, I'm going to treasure all of it, Just so you know. We are celebrating our 3rd year anniversary of being married, now. And the only gift I can give you is your freedom, Remember last night? You said you'll be the happiest if I'm gone and Seunghyun that's the only thing I can give you, I want you to be happy, Goodbye and I love you._

_Jiyong._

After reading the note, Seunghyun's world just fell apart.


End file.
